Permission to read, sir? Also, write, blog, and think? (nothing to see here)
I realized this morning that I’ve somehow gone wildly astray in following one of my sabbatical plans. It’s not just astray in the sense of “not doing”, mind you; rather, it’s astray in the sense of completely forgetting and misunderstanding. Two of the things that I’d really hoped to do were to get back in the habits of reading and blogging. More precisely, I meant to read things I wanted to that I’ve not allowed myself the time for, whether they be in my field, blogs, or fiction. And I meant to blog more regularly. Instead, I’ve found myself feeling guilty about not reading the right stuff and writing the right stuff. In fact, I’ve felt so guilty I’ve started clenching my jaw and hiding from the world and doing things not at all related to work since giving the last presentation a couple of weeks ago.
So this is just a short reminder to myself that I am not only allowed to read things that make me think, but I should also be doing that. I should be blogging, because it allows me to engage my brain and compose. I write more effectively when I also blog. I know: you’ve all read this before. It’s just so easy for me to forget. But dammit, it’s June. I have only about ten weeks left. I need to get things done, but there is no reason I can’t decide what order to work on them, as long as I get finished those things I mean to have finished. Nor, apart from schedules imposed by institutional opening times, do I need to keep to anyone else’s schedule. So now, I’m going to read some stuff on gender in the MA. If I want to run before going to the library, I will run, even if it’s going to make me late to the library. If I want to follow a link to an article in the Grauniad, I will do that.
In short, I am going to try to allow myself to get sidetracked by things that are productive and healthy in the end, rather than finding distractions to keep from feeling bad about not being the right sort of productive.
Also… I’m working on a post that sort of ties together a lot of the various conversational threads happening on the internets since I’ve been on sabbatical, e.g., misogyny, safe places, SF/F, trigger warnings, etc. It’s turning out to be problematic on many levels, but I think I need to get it out of my system.