This may be a Proud Mary sort of semester
What I’ve been doing since last I posted is largely not a lot. Mostly, I’ve been failing to get into a groove, playing games, reading, cleaning up random bits of mess, cooking, and, for a short time, feeling guilty. Then I realized that I have not had an actual, proper holiday of more than a long weekend, since … 2000? Ok, I did spend eight days with LDW in his fair city in 2007, but he was working, so I worked in the library and met my class online. There have been a couple of trips to see the family at Christmas, but they were filled with marking, visiting, and Christmas shopping. Once I realized that, I decided to stop feeling guilty. That, and to start thinking about taking an actual holiday at some point.
Also, this is not entirely true. Last week, I started making sure I did at least a couple of things a day, because there is a mountainous backlog of stuff I owe people. I’ve spent about six hours meeting with students, started choosing readings for a class, done some database work, corresponded with colleagues on assessment and courses, etc. Just not as much as I probably should have done, but I have managed to stave off the horrible illness I drove myself into at the end of last summer. That’s my goal this year: to stay healthy and get healthier. And, despite the already mounting pile of work and the usual tensions, to take things nice and easy. I’m also at the point of my life where there’s really not much chance of me living as long as I already have. I spoke with X over the weekend. His new wife has just retired, they are buying a house in a very nice place, and he may retire in the next couple of years (it’s not that early for him — he’s eleven years older than me). I’ve got at least another twenty years of work ahead of me. Honestly, if I died tomorrow, people would find a somewhat messy house, boxes of things from several moves that haven’t been unpacked, a bunch of unfinished projects, and two lovable, but slightly annoying cats. I’d sort of like there to be more. Have done for a while. In fact, I’ve been taking voice lessons, so I could maybe audition for a choir. I haven’t sung in a choir since 1980, but music makes me happy. Singing helps make things nice and easy. Today, I had an audition. I think it was shite, but I walked out with a score, so that I could start rehearsing the Soprano II part in this:
That’s how I’m starting my semester. I think we all know how it’s going to end.